Hit the road Jack! Don’t cha come back…

You know that feeling that wives get after they have been married for a couple of years? The feeling of being the “old ball and chain”? Where you start to feel unnoticed and underappreciated. I think the same can be applied to friendships that have lasted many milestones.

Now see how I apply to this hypothesis to friendship. Notice: Watch one of your closet friend meeting and making a new friend for the first time. Doesn’t he or she sound nicer? Maybe their tone is slightly sweeter or manner in which they are speaking. I don’t know! But whatever it is something is a little off and almost fake about your friend.  It’s like when you first started dating a new boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re excited, you want to please them, and you want to be around them 24/7. You put your best foot forward in terms of behavior, speech, and appearance. You are more willing to say “yes” to things like driving somewhere far to make a lunch date. You are more gung ho about making plans for the weekend with this new potential bestie. You are on your best behavior to not say anything rude or crude. The list continues and at this point I am standing there witnessing this transaction and wondering who this person is. This is not my friend. Or at least this isn’t the friend who I will be left with after the potential friend has gone and is far within earshot of us.

My friend is the person who snaps at me when he or she is getting impatient with me. (And HELL NO I don’t get a “I’m sorry for snapping at you for no reason especially when you were only trying to help me”) My friend is the person who forgets to call me or is too busy suddenly to have dinner. My friend is the one who tells me they don’t like what I am wearing or criticizes/dissects my every habit.  

So this is where I’m standing next to “my” friend trying to make this “new” person her “new” friend and I’m left thinking when did I become the “old ball and chain”?

So why do we do this? Why are we so much more pleasing and nicer to those we just met than to our bosom buddies? I understand like a marriage, the level of comfort is there. You know that no matter what, they will always be there for you. It’s like they have you now, why try so hard?

Guess what JERK! (and I can call you that because we are SO close) One of these days I might just up and leave and find myself a new friend who will treat and appreciate me better. I don’t need words of affection (although maybe I do since did I scored pretty high on that Language of Love test…)  or words of encouragement. But damn don’t stand there and make feel lower than dirt when you are trying to charm this new friend of yours.